


Birds Aren't Real

by Lookatallmyships



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Game Grumps, Birds aren't real, Birds work for the bourgeoisie, Concert, Dan and Barry are still roommates, First Meetings, Government Conspiracy, Humor, M/M, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookatallmyships/pseuds/Lookatallmyships
Summary: Dan meets Ross at a concert.
Relationships: Dan Avidan/Ross O'Donovan
Kudos: 5





	Birds Aren't Real

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to finish all of my wips if it kills me.

Dan arrives at the venue a little early. Some local indie band that Dan’s never heard of is playing, but he’s all for supporting independent artists and he’d been looking for something to do tonight anyway. Two seconds of googling reveals that the band is mainly punk rock with some metal influences as well.

Despite being early, there’s already a bunch of people waiting in line outside of the building. Some standing around talking to whoever they came with while a couple girls dressed in pleated black skirts and fishnet stockings sit with their backs against the brick building. Dan’s amused to see that they’re barefoot and their empty boots are keeping their spot in like.

Dan fishes his phone out of the pocket of his jeans to check the time and notices a text from his roommate Barry.

_“Hey Dan, sorry I couldn’t go with you tonight. Hope you have a great time at the concert.”_

Dan shoots off a text reassuring Barry that he totally gets it and that it’s not the first time he’s flown solo to a concert. After promising to be as quiet as possible when he gets home later, Dan silences his cellphone and puts it away again. Better to do it now and possibly miss a text, then risk forgetting to do it later.

Around the corner of the building, someone squeals in surprise before laughing.

Distracted, Dan doesn’t notice the person stepping up behind him until they tap him on the shoulder. He jumps in surprise, and the guy holds his hands up placatingly.

“Sorry man, didn’t mean to scare you.”

The first thing Dan notices is the man’s Australian accent, not super heavy but still plain in his voice. The second thing he notices, is the guys shirt. It’s solid black with a picture of a bird inside of a red circle with a line through it. Beneath the symbol is white text reading ‘Birds aren’t real.’

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He laughs. “Alright, I have to ask. What’s up with the shirt?”

The Australian’s eyes twinkle with barely contained glee. “Oh, haven’t you heard?” he asks with the tone of someone who is _delighted_ at the opportunity to pass on certain knowledge. “The government had all the birds killed and replaced them all with robots meant to spy on us.”

Not having expected that, Dan can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes his chest. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before.”

He grins. “Yeah man, all fake. The birds work for the bourgeoisie.” He holds out a hand “The name’s Ross.”

Shaking his head in amusement, Dan shakes his hand. “I’m Dan.”

“It’s _very_ nice to meet you Dan” Ross says with something akin to a good-natured leer. “I don’t suppose you could tell me what time it is? I forgot my phone back at the car.”

“Oh, it’s…” Dan has to pull out his phone despite just having looked at the time. “It’s just 8:30 now, they’ll probably let us in soon.”

“Cool, cool. Guess my timing was perfect then.”

Dan takes another look at Ross’s shirt and chuckles. “So, are there any other truths that I should know about?”

The other man shoots him a Cheshire Cat-esque grin. “That depends. Have you ever heard of drop bears?”

**Author's Note:**

> In case you've never heard of it, there's a jokey conspiracy theory that says that between 1959 and 2001 the government killed all of the birds and replaced them with drones meant for spying on people. 
> 
> I designed Ross's shirt since I never seem to love the designs I see for sale online: https://imgur.com/a/3zJJXQR
> 
> Here's the official website: https://birdsarentreal.com/pages/faq
> 
> I also recommend checking out r/birdsarentreal


End file.
